Last night was my first trip to Lainey Lui’s annual SMUT Soiree, held in Toronto at The Evergreen Brickworks, and it was a blast!

When my friend @sarahnewk from Sleeping is for Losers – whoops, I mean Sarah, she has a real name – invited me to go, I jumped at the chance…even though it was on a school night! (Here is Sarah’s take on the event.)

I quickly glammed up after school in our not-so-glam staff washroom (I went with a short dress and heels, since photos from previous years looked pretty dressy).

We arrived just a few minutes after the 6 pm start time, which was a good move…there was still lots of parking available, and the line to get in was short. The line to have your photo taken in front of the backdrop for the chance to be chosen “most stylish” and win a shopping spree was long, but we decided to remove ourselves from the competition, you know, in order to give someone else a chance.

The perimeter of the room held various sponsor booths, like Rimmel (giving free manis), TRESemmé (hair touchups), and Unilever (with a self-serve swag line for samples, shown below). Note: if you have your heart set on something, you need to get in the line right away or you’ll be waiting a while! I’m looking forward to trying out the dry shampoo, a product I’ve never used but hear so many people recommend.

The $54 ticket price also included “open bar” (there was a beer booth and a Grey Goose martini bar) and hors d’oeuvres like a hot dogs (served from an authentic hot dog truck) salmon sliders, something seafood-y, cheese breadsticks, popcorn and Skinny Cow treats. I was on a total sugar rush by the time Lainey took the stage!

Folding chairs were set up in rows for the actual “smut session”, and when we noticed other ladies saving their seats, we followed suit and dropped our sweater/jacket somewhere in the ninth row so we could be close to the action. Bonus: there was a Paulette’s chocolate donut waiting on each seat! (Like I said, sugar rush!)

We unknowingly managed to photobomb a shot of Lainey that she shared on Twitter – can you spot us?

And was she trying to take a picture of us here? Nope – it was her mom (and subject of her recent book) the Squawking Chicken, who was in attendance along with her father and husband Jacek.

Host Teri Hart and Lainey got the gossip going right at 8:00…and did they dish the dirt. Not only do they both have years of experience interviewing the stars, Lainey has all sorts of (seemingly reliable) sources filling her in on Hollywood (and New York and Toronto) goings-on, both the conscious uncoupling and the very random coupling. I’m not going to go into details here (out of respect for Lainey’s process and those who paid for their tickets) but I am almost convinced that there isn’t a fully straight man left in Hollywood.

Lainey confirmed the identities of many celebrities she’s written about in blind items on her site, LaineyGossip
sometimes directly, and sometimes with hints like “Pretty in Pink” or “he got a perm for his last movie role”. You don’t even want to know what tidbit she was confirming with that last clue.

What I will tell you: Jennifer Lawrence is supposedly as nice and funny and self-deprecating as she appears in interviews. One of America’s sweethearts is not. (Which disappointed me.)

A huge chunk of the talk was devoted to “question and answer”, with microphones set up at three points in the middle aisle where attendees could ask their burning gossip questions.

After a full hour of chatting, the session wrapped up and we were back in the car by 9:15 (just perfect for this early-to-bed gal, since that didn’t get me to bed until 11:15!)

On the way out, we were handed a little swag bag (contents shown below):

I would definitely attend again, and go in feeling even more confident next time as I know what to expect. Well done, Lainey…see you next year! Actually, I’ll see you next month (squee!), but that’s a whole other blog post.

Yep, I just said “squee”. You know it’s going to be big.

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